Assisting your aging parents often means orchestrating delicate conversations about topics like moving to senior care centers, adjusting their diets and managing their finances. Money is a sensitive area for many people, and your parents might be hesitant to disclose the fiscal details of their lives to you, even when your intentions are constructive. If you’re dreading the money talk with your aging loved ones, use these tips to guide and manage the discussion.
Use current events for a seamless transition
While financial issues are important, you shouldn’t treat the conversation like a lesson. If you plan a date and time to talk about money, your parents could enter the discussion with their guards up, and may be less likely to tell you about weak spots in their fiscal profiles. Instead, consider using current events as springboards to this sensitive conversation. If your parents regularly tune into the news or read papers, engage them in a conversation about a financial topic you saw reported about on their favorite channel or in their favorite publication, suggested Aging Care. Because the news is a neutral medium between you and your loved ones, it’s the perfect catalyst to launch you into a more personal discussion.
Enlist the help of another family member
Whether you’re speaking to one or both of your parents, it’s always a good idea to have backup on your side. Whether you ask a sibling, aunt, uncle or cousin to assist you, having someone else in the room can act as a buffer and offer another outlook, explained Merrill Lynch. And while you’re leading the initiative to manage your parents’ finances, you should allow the other person plenty of opportunities to voice his or her opinions.
“You want to be a true collaborator, rather than swooping in and taking over,” noted Stacy Allred, managing director of client solutions at Merrill Lynch.
If possible, choose a family member who is very financially literate, or who has had similar conversations before. Having someone with fiscal expertise can elevate the conversation and help you and your parents draw some important conclusions.
Suggest a system
While you should let the discussion evolve naturally, you should ultimately be working toward a concrete end result: to iron out a system where you can have access to your parents’ finances. Daily Finance recommended asking your parents if they can put their fiscal documents in a shared binder or digital file. They’ll still be able to have control over their money, but you’ll also be privy to their financial information.
This file should include important items like insurance papers, bank account information, credit reports and property deeds. Not only will you be able to keep track of your parents’ economic issues, but you’ll be able to help protect them from identity theft, as financial schemes are often targeted at seniors.
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